Monday, April 29, 2019

Our Perspective on What Might Have Been

There are times we wish we could change, alter or delete things that have happened in our past.  We look for closure, hoping it will erase the pain of the memories, but the memories remain.
Closure is not just about letting go of what has happened to us, it is also about letting go of your fantasy of how things would have been.  We all have an ideal life that we hope to live and we ALL have things that have happened to us that we wish we could change.  Our mind is a wonderful thing and it gives us our personality and our quest for knowledge....and is also is a great storyteller.  We weave stories based on our limited knowledge about future events.  It can start as....I'll be happy once I....get a job, start a family, find my soulmate, lose some weight etc., etc..  We have a whole life in our mind as to how wonderful things will be or would have been and truthfully, nothing will ever live up to the fantasy that exists in our minds. Great authors have woven stories that have captivated the imaginations of generations of humans with their story telling abilities.  We too, have the ability to tell great stories, but sometimes we are so focused on the story in our mind that we lose sight of the story of our life.
If only I had gone to university.....but then I wouldn't have met my best friend; if only I had moved out west to take that job....but maybe i would have been in an accident; if only I hadn't moved to the city.....but by changing any one thing in your life, everything else changes too.  Think about that, what might you lose....a friend, a child, a partner. Every little decision we make in life affects our future from that moment on.  Which road to take, which friend to call, which course to study, which store to shop in....EVERY decision impacts EVERYTHING that follows it.
We can not change the past, but we can make decisions to take us forward.  Romanticizing the 'what ifs' in our past is just another way of beating ourselves up.  Our life would NOT be perfect today if 'that thing' hadn't happened or 'that thing' did happen, it might be better, but it also might be worse.  We will never know what might have been, but we do have the ability to have an impact on what happens next.  Find the people and experiences that bring you joy and relish the gratitude for those memories.
As in the photo above, the future is foggy until we make choices and move closer... with movement comes focus and with focus comes clarity.

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